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Divorce Disaster: Five Divorce Mistakes to Avoid

Facing divorce? Here are five common mistakes to avoid in order to make the process as smooth as possible.

Being determined to “win” at any cost.

Remember that movie War of the Roses? We’ve probably all seen divorcing couples like that. There’s little upside, though, in burning your house down just to get back at your spouse. Fighting over everything gets very expensive. Sometimes it’s hard to remember in the heat of divorce, but the time will come when what matters will be having a pleasant life with your kids and even having a pleasant relationship with your ex-spouse. If you have kids, you and your spouse are going to have to work out some way of getting along, and the more you and your spouse are at war, the more work you are going to have later.

Hiding assets.

If your spouse suspects you’re hiding assets (and if you’re hiding assets, your spouse probably knows you well enough to suspect that’s what you’re doing), your spouse is likely to tell his or her attorney or hire a forensic investigator.

Hiding assets is illegal as well as obviously unethical. The lying spouse can be ordered to pay attorney fees or fines. In extreme cases, the spouse hiding assets can actually face jail time. There have been several cases where the court has awarded all of the hidden assets to the other spouse.

Getting divorce advice from your friends.

When you’re getting a divorce, everyone will probably have advice. Problem is, they may be misinformed. Rely on your lawyer and your team of professionals for information instead of your friends.

Not informing yourself.

Hire an attorney, and make sure you understand and agree with the decisions and direction of your case. Have your lawyer explain the decisions that are made and the consequences of the decisions.

Not taking care of yourself.

Divorce is a stressful time for everyone. You’ll feel better if you have a support group. Try to spend time with friends who have a positive attitude, not just friends who want to tear down your ex-spouse. If you’re really down, you may want to consider counseling or mediation. The kids may need a little extra support too. This is a great time for you and your kids to take up a new hobby or think of some fun things to do together.

Divorce is never pleasant, but you will get through it. And the less acrimonious the process is, the easier it will be to move forwards. Please contact me today if you’d like to learn more!

Vanessa Vasquez de Lara, Esq. is the founder and owner of Vasquez de Lara Law Group, a law firm dedicated to assisting families with the legal issues affecting them, and their loved ones in family and probate court. Ms. Vasquez de Lara graduated cum laude from the University of Miami School of Law in 2002. She has been named to the 2015 Super Lawyers Rising Stars list and is an experienced family, probate, and guardianship litigator.

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