Divorces are very difficult and emotional in the best of circumstances, and making decisions about an emotional issue like child custody when emotions are already running high is very difficult. In this blog entry, I’m going to offer five suggestions to help keep this difficult process from becoming contentious. No one benefits from an ugly custody battle – especially your kids!
Remember that you and your spouse are both under a lot of stress.
It’s hard to have any sympathy for your spouse when you’re in the middle of a divorce, but it’s useful to remember that your spouse may be having difficulty coping too. If you try to have patience with both your own feelings and those of your spouse, it will make dealing with everything easier. Don’t hesitate to get help from friends, family, or counselors if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt where it seems warranted. Be willing to compromise where it seems reasonable and in the best interests of the children.
Think through the details.
What kinds of arrangements will most benefit you and your children? It’s helpful if you have plans in place that are going to make it as easy as possible for both you and your children to move forward. This will probably involve plenty of time with both parents.
Mediation services during divorce proceedings can be helpful. They can be invaluable in deciding on custody arrangements and visitation and in working out what kinds of agreements will be most beneficial for everyone.
If everyone stays calm, it will be much easier to reach sensible decisions. Shouting matches can undo months of progress; keeping things polite and friendly is the best way to move forward.
Don’t forget to pay attention to your kids.
Sometimes you get so wrapped up in worrying about custody that you forget about the important thing: the kids. They need your attention, and it will be rejuvenating and relaxing for you to spend time with them. In the midst of all the stress of a divorce, some fun time with the children will help you keep things in perspective.
Facing divorce or child custody issues? I can help. Please contact me today!